this is insane

it has been 8 days since he left and he is due to return in 12 days

i feel like im going insane cause he aint around.

its strange how we wnt from sort of friends to lovers and the transition is good. i love every minute with him and when this thing ends on its set date... i shall walk away with 1) restored hope in true love and 2) a life time of memories from the guy who said he loves me and showed it.

i have decided though that when this does end on that set date... i am bowing out from the dating game for good (well at least untill i cant hold back). thing is, im thinking, how does anyone ever top this? is there something better than this? i mean little by little he is turning in to what i have been looking for and what better way to end it than with a very near encounter (to my defination of love?)

my friends keep on comenting on how it will not end but i dont want to set anything that high for fear of the long free fall. when push comes to shove, what i shall do is tell him that i am madly in love with him and that if his heart is still in it then i want to let it go further but if his heart is not or if he exibits any sign of doubt then i walk away.

will i get over him? i doubt it.

its crazy how perfact this feels.

its insane who comfortable this feels.

whatever happens on the 31st od December 2008... i will either way have moved in the perfact direction to a better, bigger and definatly sexier me!!!