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This is ME!!

So who am I?

Well i'm a strong, young, beautiful, sucessful black woman who is just tapping in to what she is able to achive in life. i LOVE love and everything that it comes with. I am loud and at times rude. I am confident and believe i have a responsibility to those close to me to make their expiriance with me to be the best ever and leave them wanting more. I believe in making lasting memories, wheather it be good or end in something bad - they all serve to shap my future and out looks on things.
I am dynamic and 3-dimentional. Iam sexy and hott. Iam free and i am under control. All of this in one word:

ME!
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I am human...

I am human...
...according to me...

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Randzo
johannesburg, gauteng, South Africa
i am a fun loving, almost 25 year old who is tring to pin down this thing called life (but with some bad luck it keeps escaping me - the good stuff in life i mean). i laugh loud and cry hard. i love food and enjoy talking. i love meeting new people and hanging out. just started working so even that is something i'm tring to get used to.
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My all time classics...

  • giving him something he can feel - En Voug
  • diggin' on you - TLC
  • Me, Myself and I - Tamia
  • Smile - Tamia
  • Let it flow - Tony Braxton
  • Sexual healing
  • Cater to you - Destiny's child

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

signs...

i dont know.

maybe that is whats finally happening.

i think finally after years of hectic love struck love, im finally getting over it - only a little though.



i have been in love with Gary for the longest time and i was/am convinced that he is the only man for me and that i will be happy only when i'm with him but lately...


its strange but i find that im not so obssesed about him as before.im a lot calmer and need him less. there are days when im so comfortable with not calling him and him not calling. i have no issues with going the whole week without talking to him and wel have even stopped expecting that i will see him during the wekend or even that he will call me up to make plans (he has never).
i have this idea that now that he has me back, he has switched off all the romance or whatever it is that has men calling every moment and them having all those goo goo ga ga names for you. funny - cant even remember when he last said he loved me first...

the strangest most wierdest part of it all is that - i aint even super upset about it. if theman dosnt want to then hell wh the hell would i want to convince him other wise right...

at this moment, for all i care, the man that had me convinced that forever exists can wither up and... DIE (metophorically)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The 3 P's of Love

ok ok so having read through the first 2 chapters of the book (Act like a lady, Think like a man) i have a couple of things to check through.

The book discribes what it calls the 3 P's of love: Profess, Protect & Provide.
while reading through them i couldnt help but check What Steve Harvey says against my man.

let me brake it down:



PROFESS: when a man is in love with you or is serious about you he will have a title for you. these are titles such as baby, my woman, my lady, my girlfriend etc. these are the titles that he will introduce you to people using or put it in some conversations just so to convay the idea that he is with someone and that you are taken. he will show this in public and will actually even take the effort to introduce you to everyone. HE WANTS EVERYONE TO GET THAT BOTH YOU AND HIM ARE TAKEN - BY EACH OTHER


MY MAN:

well thats where it all started. its like he went out of his way to get my attention by doing these little things not limited to private settings (like the time he took off my heels when i complined that my feet were killing me. he went down on one knee in front of everyone and he took thm off for me). then things got even worse when he was campaining that we try again. after church service, he would be by my side. he would save seats for me next to him and pull me closer when hanging out with his roomies. these things of cuse would not confuse a passer by as to what was going on between us. not that he would say it out laud but i would like to take that as his way of doing it esp. cause its not limited to one time. besides, he says certain things that claim me as his. his actions are screeming louder then his word.
Result: PASS (with flying colours)

PROTECT: as in the animal kingdom, a male will at all times protect his own. men are brought up to know that he should go to all lengths to protect his own. his family shall not be thretened and he just sit back and do nothing. at times even though it seems like there is not much he can do, he will do something. its in his make up, its his place. if he trully loves you, he will protect you.

MY MAN:

now this was a little dificult to do. finding where he does this that is. see the thing about that man of mine is that he aint no fusser. he does not get worked up over anything and he will not over react to anything. he stays calm and will just walk away. just as i was starting on a new bout of depression, it hits me. there was and incident once where i suppose he failed to kep it together and nature took over. remember the event with my friend? thats when he got all crazy. yeah... thats it. back then i was not with him yet i suppose he felt the nedd to claim over me and protect me from potentials. then there is the little irritation he showed when i kept telling him about some dude who just wont leave me alone. so the man does love me. and even though at times he may not give in to showing that he wants to protect me, he does...!!! lol
Result: Pass(scraping through)
PROVIDE: now a man will provide for his own. his natural role is being the brad winner. be the one who will make sure that everyone is taken care of. this means he wil pay the bills. he will pay for dinner or the movie ticket or whatever needs to be taken care of. this oes not mean that he has to be rolling in ti. even when he is broke he will find ways to provide. maybe fix something of yours that is broken or even call in fvors with friends when you need help with something that he cant do.
MY MAN:
UM UM UMM. this is still something we will have to work on with him. look he does do the movie ticket and all and yes he isnt exactly rolling in it. he does though get the things i like when i come over like once in a while get me that slice of chocolate cake or even a slap to share. thats all rosy and all but i would like to keep an eye out for this just to find more proof.
Result: Re-eveluate.
CONCLUTION:
he may not be perfect and he may not have it all but one thing is for sure - he oes love me. at times i dont get what level he is on r what is going on in his head but love me he does.
i suppose its not that i needed some book to prove that. i think i spent so much time worried and looking out or all those obviously visible huge things that i missed the real, from the heart smaller things. one of the reasons im still around after all the drama and tears i have been trough for this man, is ecause i cant imagin my life with anyone but him. as much as it at times freaks me out to hear him talk about future us the one moment and nothing the next, the one major thing is that he loves me and i just need to trust in that.
Personal note: baby, i may be a little psycho at times but deep down know that i know that you love me. for all that and a bit more you may do unknown to me - THANK YOU.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

"Act like a lady, think like a man" by Steve Harvey


so i saw show on Oprah last night regarding this book and i was immidiatly hooked.

it seems that there is so much that we woman just dont get about men and there is equaly so much about woman that men dont get.

im at a place where im very confused as to how my man's mind works and i would love nothing else but to sit him down and explain to him how much all his strange behavier is totally throwing me off. i mean take for example - he will call and just listen to me talk. when i eventually get to a pause after telling him a mouthfull and ask what he wants to tell me, the answer i get is : nothing!!

now dont get me wrong or anything - i love the man but sho he sho is a piece of work to figure out.