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Finally!!
its not that i have been sitting around just waiting for this but sho it feels good to have it finally happend. last night.
it was more of a statment i must say. he said it in a way that sounded like it was the most ntural thing ever. it gave me a super good mood kick.
this time it feels diffrent. this time it feels good. i am loving every moment of re-falling in love with him.
look ok ok i admite not everything is all rosey onmy part. yes i am constantly freacking out and always on the look out for patterns of his past behaviers and even though i may say nothing to him, inside my own personal wars where i totaly freack out.
was i even sane to want to give this another shot?
was i just fooling myself for thinking that i could get over all the past things?
will it ever get to a stage where everything will be at an equal again?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Try Again
Is it possible to be happy the second time around?
YES: now that we have an idea of what happens when one is away from the other, shall we now work hard to make sure that that doesn't happen again? I would like to believe that i am much older this time around and believe that the time away could have been what was needed.
he still looks at me that way and he still makes me laugh yesterday, i sent him a questioner of things he had to fill out about me. i was surprised at how much about me he knew. even though i spent half of my time worring about what i should do and if i should do it but i feel like this time around there is a better sense of what the other is about... i feel the intimacy growing and I'm a better kind of open with him. he promised to bring his part and admitted that he too was scared but would like to give it another shot. him saying that just made it all ok.
thing is i don't need for him to say that it will be prefect this time around or to tell me that it will work because honestly how the hell can he promise that. i also don't need him to tell me that he will give me the world or even that he will marry me cause that is just not a guarantee that he can give me. for me the fact hat he said he would try is so enough for me.
am i being naive?
YES: now that we have an idea of what happens when one is away from the other, shall we now work hard to make sure that that doesn't happen again? I would like to believe that i am much older this time around and believe that the time away could have been what was needed.
he still looks at me that way and he still makes me laugh yesterday, i sent him a questioner of things he had to fill out about me. i was surprised at how much about me he knew. even though i spent half of my time worring about what i should do and if i should do it but i feel like this time around there is a better sense of what the other is about... i feel the intimacy growing and I'm a better kind of open with him. he promised to bring his part and admitted that he too was scared but would like to give it another shot. him saying that just made it all ok.
thing is i don't need for him to say that it will be prefect this time around or to tell me that it will work because honestly how the hell can he promise that. i also don't need him to tell me that he will give me the world or even that he will marry me cause that is just not a guarantee that he can give me. for me the fact hat he said he would try is so enough for me.
am i being naive?
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