Happly ever after is not real...

Letter:

Dear_____________

Wow where do I start…

As strange as it may seem but I believe in fairy tales… or at least I used to.

To me what has always made sense was the idea of happily ever after, you know the guy meets girl and falls madly in love with her. He shows her, as impossible as it may sometimes seem - that they belong together. She agrees and they live happily ever after.

Now I have let that idea go with me through life and it has helped me stand up and dust myself off and try again every time when I have had my heart broken. I say it may seem strange, because to many, something like that is impossible. In the tale, the man goes to all lengths for the woman who he loves and he falls in love with every little thing that makes her up. He loves the way she smiles and the way that she looks when she is upset. He falls for the way she gets so worked up over the smallest of things or the way that she cracks up at the most stupid yet insignificant of things. He loves the way she calls him like 10 times a day and never gets tired of it. When she is unhappy he becomes unhappy and when she cries he is always there to hold her tight and tell her that everything will be ok even though to him it may be so clear that they won’t. Life without her is an impossible something to him because he realizes that she forms such a huge part of his life to the extent that without her, he just isn’t. When she says “I love you” everything in his world is ok.

Many have said that something like that is simply what it is meant to be – a fairy tale that will never come true…

… Sadly I am beginning to see what they mean and it hurts.

I’m tired of dusting myself off because my dress has simply gotten too dirty for me to still hold my head up and carry on with no hint of bitterness.
I look back on the last couple of months and I notice how they have been so enveloped around this one man. I thought I liked him but that is simply an under statement. I fell in love.

When we turn bitter, it simply means that we hold on to this one bad experience and even though we may say that we are over it, we really are not. From that point onwards what ever happens along the same line will always be graded on this one experience and no one ever is able to change that. I used to feel so sorry for woman who let things get to that stage yet… I sit here today and I have let the very same thing happen to me. I have finally turned bitter towards men and I doubt if it will be changed or should I rather say – I doubt if I will ever allow anybody to change that.

I woke up this morning and I had this fantasy running in my head where a guy who has been seeing me from a distance for a while now finally approaches me and lays it all out in the open. He tells me from the get go that he thinks I’m amazing and that he now has gathered up enough courage to come up to me and talk to me. He says he wants to get to know me better. I smile. And he says that smile is something he has seen so many times and he has lost count of how many times he has prayed that I will flash him that smile one day…..

Reality hit and I remembered that I have sworn off men for life.

So here is a fairy tale situation that automatically played in my head and here is my heart screaming ENOUGH with a loud speaker.

Looking down at my worn, dirty dress (from all the falling and dusting off) and thinking of how difficult it is for me to find, pick up and put together the pieces of my shattered heart, I unfortunately now finally give up on my idea of a happily ever after and join the masses in saying…

Fairy Tales do not exist…


Signed: a member of the real world

Realization

Hello world

i just came back from a well deserved leave from work and i took a long trip away so that i can clear this head of mine. it did a whole lot of good plus i came to realize a few things and accepted a whole lot.

have you ever realised that our emotions don't understand our language? i mean think about it - why is it that we always fall for the that guy that we dont want to fall for or even that guy who we know will never look our way (ie: celebs).
in my case i have seen that while i try by all means to get over this guy i just seem to have some stuff that i hold on to. i mean in what language should i shout it to my emotions that its time to move on. i wanna go explore new things and new people but not in the opinon of my emotions. they still want to hold on to this looser and still think he is God's gift to woman.

i also decided not to fight it. i mean as much as i wouldn't want to admit it - i still like him a lot and still think he is very hott (even though i haven'y seen him in a while. i hope he got in the line of something nasty and has this huge scare doen his face that makes him look like a freak). what i am tring to say is that i think will be so much easier if i accept that i still have the hearts for him and believe that they will fade away soon.
CONFESSION: i now that this sounds nasty and psyco but i'm not sure how i will react or what i will say if he asks me to give it another shot. i mean he still has all the things that i fell for and even though i know now his negetive traits but none of them have turned me away. my emotions simply dont get it.

i also realized that i am way too beautyful and hot to waste my time pinning for something thats gone. i know though that i want to refarin from dating for a while now while i find my ground again i'm moving on in life and a dull mood is not part of the package.

therfore raise it up... TO A YEAR FILLED WITH A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE, LAUGHTER AND HOTT INCOUNTERS.